1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,040 This programme contains strong language, adult humour, 2 00:00:04,040 --> 00:00:05,280 and some scenes of a sexual nature 3 00:00:05,280 --> 00:00:06,440 PHONE ALERT, VIBRATES 4 00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:08,720 PHONE ALERT, VIBRATES 5 00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:08,720 Well, can you check it? 6 00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:11,720 "Hello, Deb. Just in the toilets, 7 00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:13,760 "thinking about you. Love, Dev." 8 00:00:13,760 --> 00:00:16,360 Aww, he's sweet. Worth the effort from all of us. 9 00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:17,480 Yes? 10 00:00:17,480 --> 00:00:19,960 You said you have to keep your eyes shut when you have sex with him. 11 00:00:19,960 --> 00:00:22,320 Yeah, I do, but he's got a massive house. 12 00:00:22,320 --> 00:00:23,360 Massive. 13 00:00:24,880 --> 00:00:26,040 Massive. 14 00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:30,800 ON RADIO: I'm all the way up I swear you'll never bring me down 15 00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:32,360 Shout out to my ex... 16 00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:32,360 RADIO OFF 17 00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:34,760 Sorry, I really can't handle sad music right now. 18 00:00:34,760 --> 00:00:36,520 It's Little Mix. Yeah, exactly. Oh, God, 19 00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:39,520 you're not going to have another one of your bloody episodes, are you? 20 00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:41,200 I think it's already started. 21 00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:43,200 Well, this time, can you try and not drag everyone 22 00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:44,680 into your vortex of misery, please? 23 00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:45,960 HEAVY THUD 24 00:00:47,560 --> 00:00:49,400 Just get in the back, Josie. 25 00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:53,200 ENGINE STARTS 26 00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:56,840 Late. Good day? 27 00:00:56,840 --> 00:00:59,360 Drive. I'm just going to let these kids go past. 28 00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:00,400 Kill them. 29 00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:10,080 DEB HUMS 30 00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:13,960 What the fuck? 31 00:01:15,040 --> 00:01:17,160 Is that Nicky? Who's he with? Look at her! 32 00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:19,200 Look at her horrible eyebrows! 33 00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:20,600 Wow, she's fit. 34 00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:23,600 Oh, well, why don't you just finger her, then? Sorry. 35 00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:25,080 I'm going to kill myself. 36 00:01:25,080 --> 00:01:26,320 Don't let him see me! 37 00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:27,960 You don't need to be so dramatic. 38 00:01:27,960 --> 00:01:30,120 Oh, God. I'm going to be sick. 39 00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:31,840 It's coming. 40 00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:31,840 SHE RETCHES 41 00:01:31,840 --> 00:01:33,080 It's fucking coming. 42 00:01:33,080 --> 00:01:35,680 As a woman, you really shouldn't tie your self-esteem to a man. 43 00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:37,960 I'm going to cut my wrists and send him a picture. 44 00:01:37,960 --> 00:01:39,920 For God's sake. Josie, will you tell her? 45 00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:42,000 Yeah, no, I actually tried that with Georgia. 46 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:44,040 I bled all the way from Crawley to Bristol, 47 00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:45,320 and she didn't even offer 48 00:01:45,320 --> 00:01:47,320 to pay for the Megabus back or anything. 49 00:01:47,320 --> 00:01:49,400 Listen, girls, I know it's hard, 50 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:52,680 but as you get older, you'll learn to love with less of your heart. 51 00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:53,960 Less and less, 52 00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:57,120 until eventually there's nothing left any more. OK? 53 00:01:57,120 --> 00:01:58,320 No. 54 00:01:58,320 --> 00:01:59,960 You just haven't met "the one". 55 00:01:59,960 --> 00:02:02,920 He's the love of my life. 56 00:02:05,240 --> 00:02:06,920 WHISPERS: Wash the blade first. 57 00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:18,080 KNOCK AT DOOR 58 00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:19,840 Now, remember, girls, be normal. 59 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:21,880 We like this one. 60 00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:24,320 WHISPERING: I'm going to call him Daddy. I'm going to call him Daddy, 61 00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:26,760 but, like, only in a sexual way. 62 00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:28,840 And, Josie, keep it light. 63 00:02:29,920 --> 00:02:32,560 DOOR OPENS 64 00:02:29,920 --> 00:02:32,560 Dev! 65 00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:35,200 So it was at that point they put me on my mirtazapine. 66 00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:36,360 Right? 67 00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:38,400 Which actually, I think more like... 68 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:41,040 ..masks the issue rather than dealing with the root cause of it, 69 00:02:41,040 --> 00:02:42,760 if you get me. Do you know what I mean? 70 00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:45,080 Like, I don't really feel any happier, 71 00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:47,640 I just want to eat Frosties, literally, all the time. 72 00:02:49,520 --> 00:02:51,800 Would you like to see my hospital pyjamas? 73 00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:53,000 Uh... 74 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:55,840 Mum, she's talking about her mental health again. 75 00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:58,080 Oh, for fuck's sake! Not to Dev! 76 00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:01,680 Guess what colour they are. 77 00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:03,040 Dinner is ready. Now. 78 00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:05,080 Oh, lovely! 79 00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:05,080 DEV CHUCKLES GENTLY 80 00:03:07,280 --> 00:03:08,680 Don't you dare. 81 00:03:08,680 --> 00:03:10,400 I shouldn't have to hide my depression. 82 00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:13,000 And I shouldn't have to hide the stress shingles on my arse 83 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:15,240 with a Compeed, but we all make sacrifices. 84 00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:19,760 LOUD GRINDING 85 00:03:21,520 --> 00:03:22,800 P-FF-RT! 86 00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:24,760 Costs more than my wine, that does. 87 00:03:24,760 --> 00:03:25,920 Sorry. 88 00:03:25,920 --> 00:03:28,960 P-FF-RRRT! P-FF-RT! P-FF-RT! 89 00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:32,640 TV: Pole with a flat blade used to row a boat. 90 00:03:32,640 --> 00:03:36,440 Three, noble gas with the atomic number 86. 91 00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:54,640 Anyone like a Mini Milk? Yeah. 92 00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:59,800 Keep staring like that, and I will slit your throat in your bed. 93 00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:03,240 Can I get a hand, please, Dev? Oh, of course. 94 00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:11,840 Jose, I need to ask you something. 95 00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:14,560 Yeah. And I need you to answer honestly. 96 00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:16,480 OK. Seriously, even if it's something 97 00:04:16,480 --> 00:04:18,000 that I'm not going to like. OK. 98 00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:21,080 Do you think Nicky's moved on? 99 00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:23,960 Yes. No, because he hasn't actually broken up with me, 100 00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:26,400 that's the thing. He just asked for space. 101 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:29,400 Yeah, but I kind of feel like asking for space is just the thing you do 102 00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:31,480 before accepting your relationship is dead. 103 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:34,240 What? Well, it's a bit like, um, you'd only have, like, leftovers 104 00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:36,920 that you're never actually going to finish, so you just put them 105 00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:40,440 in Tupperware and leave them in the fridge and they just go off in the fridge, right? 106 00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:42,560 When really you should just put them straight in the bin. 107 00:04:42,560 --> 00:04:44,080 It's a bit like that. 108 00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:45,480 It's in the bin. 109 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:49,720 He's really not worth obsessing over. I'm not obsessed. 110 00:04:49,720 --> 00:04:51,280 I just can't live without him. 111 00:04:51,280 --> 00:04:53,040 Mm. I gave him everything. Mm. 112 00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:54,840 I had sex with him literally all the time, 113 00:04:54,840 --> 00:04:56,240 even when I really didn't want to. 114 00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:57,760 Yeah. Yeah, cos that's what love is. 115 00:04:57,760 --> 00:04:59,240 That's what love is. Yeah. 116 00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:04,480 I'm going to go to his birthday party, win him back. I love that. 117 00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:06,920 Yeah, you should definitely do that. He's obviously forgotten 118 00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:10,440 I'm a ten and he's a two. Yeah, I think so. I've just got to remind him. Jose, we're soulmates. 119 00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:13,040 Yeah. And if he doesn't take me back, I will kill myself. 120 00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:14,120 Cool. 121 00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:15,880 Do you want a strawberry or chocolate Mini Milk? 122 00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:17,920 Strawberry, please. OK. 123 00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:30,000 DEB BREATHES QUICKLY 124 00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:37,720 That's it, that's it. 125 00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:39,760 That's it. 126 00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:41,720 DEB MOANS 127 00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:45,760 Well? 128 00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:50,560 Pudding's cancelled. 129 00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:04,840 What's wrong? Sorry. 130 00:06:04,840 --> 00:06:06,880 I'm not sure what's happened there. Hmm. 131 00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:10,400 Do you want a beer? 132 00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:12,320 Er, no, no. 133 00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:13,880 I just brushed my teeth, so... 134 00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:17,240 To be honest with you, 135 00:06:17,240 --> 00:06:19,560 I think it might be something to do with Josie. 136 00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:22,080 It's her face. 137 00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:24,240 It's just...so sad. 138 00:06:24,240 --> 00:06:27,200 Oh, that's just her personality. 139 00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:29,480 Trust me, she likes being depressed. 140 00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:31,240 Oh, well, it's put me off a bit. 141 00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:32,840 Put me off my game. 142 00:06:32,840 --> 00:06:34,400 Oh, all right. 143 00:06:35,840 --> 00:06:39,640 See, a girl her age, it's not right and, er... 144 00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:41,760 I'm not sure it's healthy to be round it. 145 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:45,680 See, Joe Rogan, 146 00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:47,600 he says depression is contagious. 147 00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:50,240 And I've just got too much on at work 148 00:06:50,240 --> 00:06:52,360 to be...catching that. 149 00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:54,120 Hmm? 150 00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:55,480 Of course. 151 00:06:57,440 --> 00:06:58,680 Could you just...? 152 00:06:58,680 --> 00:07:00,560 Sorry. Thanks. 153 00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:15,120 GOOD MORNING! 154 00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:16,760 Time for work. 155 00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:18,200 I don't think I'm up to it. 156 00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:21,040 I'm just not creatively fulfilled in retail. 157 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:22,600 Josie, we've talked about this. 158 00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:24,880 Work isn't about fulfilment, it's about earning money 159 00:07:24,880 --> 00:07:26,960 so you can buy stuff that makes you FEEL fulfilled. 160 00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:28,240 I think... No, no, stop. 161 00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:29,520 Too much thinking. 162 00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:30,960 No wonder you feel a bit sad. 163 00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:33,840 Just have a cup of tea, pop some deodorant on and stop thinking. 164 00:07:33,840 --> 00:07:35,840 But... Trust me. Stop thinking. 165 00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:37,040 Do you see ME thinking? 166 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:38,560 No. It's not good for you. 167 00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:41,680 Your brain is the enemy, so just stop. 168 00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:44,160 And can you try and smile a bit more when you're with us? 169 00:07:44,160 --> 00:07:45,840 Dev says he finds you a haunting presence, 170 00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:48,920 and I'd prefer if his libido wasn't dragged down by your face. 171 00:07:50,360 --> 00:07:53,600 There she is, ready for the big wide world. 172 00:07:54,840 --> 00:07:56,920 DEB SNIFFS 173 00:07:56,920 --> 00:07:58,680 Have you farted? 174 00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:00,920 Well, I can't do it in MY room - Dev's in there. 175 00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:11,320 Please don't make me go inside. 176 00:08:13,080 --> 00:08:15,520 I think I'm having a panic attack. 177 00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:17,760 Yeah. My tits feel really tight. 178 00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:21,520 Do other people really just walk around pretending they're absolutely 179 00:08:21,520 --> 00:08:23,520 fine when everything inside their head is on fire? 180 00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:25,360 I genuinely think I'd rather be dead 181 00:08:25,360 --> 00:08:27,680 than if I've got to spend the rest of my life smiling and pretending 182 00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:28,800 like I'm someone else. 183 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:30,680 Get out of the fucking car. 184 00:08:45,800 --> 00:08:47,640 Ah-ha! Found you! 185 00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:50,560 You've been off for ages. Where you been? 186 00:08:50,560 --> 00:08:52,080 Really shouldn't talk about it. 187 00:08:52,080 --> 00:08:53,840 Methinks the girl is troubled. 188 00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:57,200 I don't want to suck you into my vortex. 189 00:08:57,200 --> 00:08:59,480 Come on. I've made a hot choccy and everything. 190 00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:00,800 Talk to me. 191 00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:08,360 OK, well, Mum's got this new boyfriend called Dev. 192 00:09:08,360 --> 00:09:12,320 Right? And he's really nice and I really thought we were getting on. 193 00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:15,440 But then, basically, Mum came in this morning and told me 194 00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:17,400 that my face was actually preventing him 195 00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:19,120 from being able to get an erection, 196 00:09:19,120 --> 00:09:21,720 which is an issue cos he's got a massive house. 197 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:26,320 I think the problem was that I walked in on him 198 00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:28,760 fingering her in the kitchen, bent over the toaster. 199 00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:30,000 BREATHES SHAKILY 200 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:32,280 But I didn't mean to make him uncomfortable. 201 00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:33,880 I just wanted to talk to him. 202 00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:37,120 And how did it go? 203 00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:41,320 Well, it was like he was trying to birth a lamb 204 00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:43,120 but the lamb didn't want to come out yet. 205 00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:45,080 No, I meant talking...to him. 206 00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:47,560 Oh. Well, we didn't get that far. 207 00:09:47,560 --> 00:09:49,400 I think we were both a bit distracted. 208 00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:54,440 Do you...do you really think my face could prevent him 209 00:09:54,440 --> 00:09:56,040 getting an erection? 210 00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:02,400 I don't know. 211 00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:10,040 Oh. This is actually, um, cold. 212 00:10:10,040 --> 00:10:12,560 I'm just going to go and reheat. 213 00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:34,040 BILLIE SIGHS 214 00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:34,040 What does he see in her? 215 00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:35,400 Who? 216 00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:37,800 Bianca. I found her. 217 00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:39,560 Don't wipe it on my bed. 218 00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:43,400 What is it about her? 219 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:44,840 I don't know. 220 00:11:44,840 --> 00:11:46,600 She seems quite happy. 221 00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:48,520 And she's so fucking thin. 222 00:11:48,520 --> 00:11:49,640 I hate that. I know. 223 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:53,680 Where's all the damage? What the fuck does she even talk about? 224 00:11:55,120 --> 00:11:56,640 I guess we just have to remember 225 00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:59,040 that most people aren't wet for trauma like we are. 226 00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:00,960 But trauma's all we've got. 227 00:12:00,960 --> 00:12:02,320 I know. 228 00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:03,720 OK. How do I be more like her? 229 00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:05,320 Don't worry. She's basic. 230 00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:08,600 She's "live, laugh, love". We're... 231 00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:10,680 death, silence, hate. 232 00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:15,160 They'll go out for a bit, 233 00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:16,440 she'll break his heart, 234 00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:18,160 he'll be alone and vulnerable, 235 00:12:18,160 --> 00:12:20,040 and that's when we strike. 236 00:12:21,720 --> 00:12:24,960 And what the fuck am I supposed to do in the meantime? I don't know. 237 00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:27,360 Stop texting him and leave him alone for a bit? 238 00:12:28,560 --> 00:12:30,640 THEY LAUGH 239 00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:34,640 OK, be serious! 240 00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:36,520 Do you think I shouldn't go to the party? 241 00:12:36,520 --> 00:12:38,160 No, you should, you look really skinny. 242 00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:40,000 Not skinny like HER, though. Yep, really skinny. 243 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:42,360 Everyone's worried - we all talked about it. 244 00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:43,600 Really? 245 00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:46,400 Mum's going to try and fix my depression tomorrow 246 00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:48,400 by taking me shopping. Oh, my God, 247 00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:49,600 you're stealing my move. What? 248 00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:51,840 Yeah, sometimes I just pretend I'm going to kill myself, 249 00:12:51,840 --> 00:12:54,240 she takes me out for a new jacket and a Wagamama. 250 00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:55,600 That's amazing! 251 00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:02,360 What about this? 252 00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:04,320 No, it's too...straight. 253 00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:06,840 Well, think how feminine you'd look, though. 254 00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:08,400 Hides your arms. 255 00:13:12,280 --> 00:13:14,960 This one? No. 256 00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:17,480 Dresses like that don't suit me. I look like a milkmaid. 257 00:13:17,480 --> 00:13:19,680 Why are you so weird about your body? 258 00:13:19,680 --> 00:13:21,040 Try it on. 259 00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:23,280 It'll hide your round shoulders. I don't want to. 260 00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:25,600 Try it on! I don't want to! I don't like it. 261 00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:28,320 Please don't shout, or I'll have a panic attack. 262 00:13:28,320 --> 00:13:29,960 Why are you so anxious? 263 00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:32,240 Cos I'm traumatised by my childhood. 264 00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:34,720 No, that can't be it. You must be having too much coffee. 265 00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:36,720 Now, get in there and try the fucking dress on, 266 00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:39,400 or I swear to God, I will scream the place down! Can I help? Yes. 267 00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:42,080 My daughter won't try the dress on. Why won't you try the dress on? 268 00:13:42,080 --> 00:13:44,440 All right, fine, I'll try the fucking dress on, OK?! 269 00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:49,960 You look lovely! 270 00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:52,760 I'm buying it. 271 00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:54,240 OK... 272 00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:56,080 Doesn't that feel good? 273 00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:57,560 It does a bit. 274 00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:00,800 Mum, we don't have that much money. 275 00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:02,640 You're using a clothes peg as a hairclip. 276 00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:03,920 It's fine. 277 00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:10,480 It's quite a rush, isn't it? Exactly. 278 00:14:10,480 --> 00:14:13,320 New clothes are really exciting, cos you haven't had the chance to create 279 00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:16,080 any sad memories wearing them yet. I could be a new me. 280 00:14:16,080 --> 00:14:18,280 A better me. Now you're getting it. 281 00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:21,320 Oh, it's starting to wear off a bit now. 282 00:14:21,320 --> 00:14:22,520 I feel a bit sad again. 283 00:14:22,520 --> 00:14:25,160 Well, that's why we go back next week. Oh, OK. As long as you don't 284 00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:27,800 think it's unhealthy to try and fix mental health problems 285 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:29,280 by throwing money we don't have 286 00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:31,360 into an ever-growing void. Accessories. 287 00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:44,360 Billie. Mm. 288 00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:47,560 Billie? Hmm? 289 00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:51,680 How much? £27. 290 00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:53,160 And Mum paid for it. 291 00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:57,360 She cried until they gave her a discount, though, right? Nope. 292 00:14:57,360 --> 00:15:00,720 Honestly, she got out her card and she paid. 293 00:15:00,720 --> 00:15:02,040 It was like a film. 294 00:15:02,040 --> 00:15:05,000 Money must have come through from the roof insurance scam. 295 00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:06,120 Oh... Right, 296 00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:08,520 so I spent four hours on Bianca's Instagram and I realised 297 00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:10,520 what Nicky's been trying to tell me. 298 00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:12,320 What? It's her hair. 299 00:15:12,320 --> 00:15:13,920 He likes blondes. 300 00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:15,800 Bleached blondes. 301 00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:18,000 OK...? So guess what. What? 302 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,600 We're going blonde. 303 00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:23,640 We've got three hours before the party, and it better look good 304 00:15:23,640 --> 00:15:25,920 or I'm going to tell Mum where you've hidden the pills. OK. 305 00:15:25,920 --> 00:15:28,240 Are you sure you want to do this? Do you remember how mine looked? 306 00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:30,800 But you've got such thin hair, so it was always going to look different. 307 00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:33,120 Plus, you didn't know whether to put it on your head or to drink it. 308 00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:34,880 I was kept in a psych ward overnight. 309 00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:36,800 Oh, my God, are we EVER going to stop talking 310 00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:38,000 about your mental health? 311 00:15:39,280 --> 00:15:42,400 BILLIE SIGHS 312 00:15:39,280 --> 00:15:42,400 EXACTLY like her, yeah? 313 00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:45,120 Really look at it, Jose. 314 00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:47,760 Remember - fucking fit. 315 00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:51,120 Got it. OK. What do I have to do? 316 00:15:51,120 --> 00:15:53,280 Right, you mix the powder with the goo so it goes burny. 317 00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:55,000 Is that what it says in the leaflet? Yeah. 318 00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:57,240 Then, when it's all on, that's when you put the hat on my head. 319 00:15:57,240 --> 00:15:59,000 That bit's really important, so it cooks. 320 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:00,600 Do you mean the Asda bag? 321 00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:02,240 Yes, the hat. 322 00:16:03,480 --> 00:16:04,800 Stinks in here. 323 00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:06,040 Sorry. 324 00:16:08,320 --> 00:16:10,360 TOILET FLUSHES 325 00:16:11,640 --> 00:16:13,280 KNOCK AT DOOR 326 00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:22,360 Hi, Dev. 327 00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:23,640 Hello. 328 00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:29,520 Do you like my new dress? 329 00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:31,040 Uh, yes. 330 00:16:31,040 --> 00:16:33,120 You...you look very jolly. 331 00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:35,840 Doesn't she look like Reese Witherspoon, but more feminine? 332 00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:40,960 How's my big man? All the better for seeing you, sexy bum. 333 00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:42,960 I think maybe we should have a look 334 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:44,680 at something in the kitchen? 335 00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:58,000 Thanks for doing this, by the way. 336 00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:00,360 You're welcome. 337 00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:02,400 It's nice, isn't it, spending time together? 338 00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:05,760 Why do you always have to make things so fucking weird? Sorry. 339 00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:08,280 This is going to look so good, though, isn't it? 340 00:17:08,280 --> 00:17:10,320 Yeah. Cos that's feminism. 341 00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:12,600 If it hurts loads, it must be worth doing. 342 00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:14,400 Um...yeah. 343 00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:16,560 He's not going to know what to do with himself 344 00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:18,960 now that I'm bleached blonde with big tits. 345 00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:21,040 So much blood is going to rush to his dick, 346 00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:22,800 he's going to get brain damage. 347 00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:24,600 Bianca is fucked. 348 00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:26,840 She's going to end up in a psych ward like you. 349 00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:29,880 You're foaming at the mouth. 350 00:17:29,880 --> 00:17:31,160 Yeah. 351 00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:33,080 It's really fucking stinging now. 352 00:17:33,080 --> 00:17:35,800 Where would you say on, like, a scale? 353 00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:37,200 Like a seven. 354 00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:38,640 OK, seven's not so bad. 355 00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:40,240 Now it's on the roots, anyway. 356 00:17:41,360 --> 00:17:42,960 OK, it's gone up. 357 00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:44,480 Eight. 358 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:45,960 8.5. 359 00:17:47,120 --> 00:17:48,440 Nine. 360 00:17:48,440 --> 00:17:50,160 Oh, no, does it hurt? 361 00:17:50,160 --> 00:17:51,800 BILLIE WHINES 362 00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:53,400 WAILS: 9.5! 363 00:17:56,120 --> 00:17:57,760 Josie seems much chirpier. 364 00:17:57,760 --> 00:17:59,040 Oh, yes. 365 00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:00,760 They're both in great spirits. 366 00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:03,680 My two happy little girls! 367 00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:03,680 THEY CHUCKLE 368 00:18:03,680 --> 00:18:05,880 Oh, my God, it burns! 369 00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:07,800 SHE GASPS AND PANTS 370 00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:07,800 I don't know 371 00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:10,200 how other women go through what we go through for men. 372 00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:12,280 I do this all for you, Nicky. 373 00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:13,880 This is all for you. 374 00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:17,160 Nearly done. This is what you wanted! 375 00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:19,760 OK. 376 00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:21,200 Finished. 377 00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:22,720 Is it stretchy? 378 00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:24,360 Remember to check. 379 00:18:25,960 --> 00:18:28,800 Is it? 380 00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:30,240 A bit. 381 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:35,840 OK, I'm just going to put the hat on now. 382 00:18:35,840 --> 00:18:37,600 BAG RUSTLES 383 00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:51,080 I have never been in this much pain in my entire life. 384 00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:53,960 I can't breathe. 385 00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:57,320 I think I'm going to die. 386 00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:00,000 I look incredible, right? 387 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:01,720 Oh, my God. Wow! 388 00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:05,040 I mean, I'm your sister, and I'm horny. 389 00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:06,440 Don't wait up! 390 00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:11,720 DOOR OPENS THEN CLOSES 391 00:19:11,720 --> 00:19:16,000 TV: Modernity and warmth reflecting each family's unique personality 392 00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:18,520 and, of course, their passion for cooking. 393 00:19:18,520 --> 00:19:21,040 Join us next time as we venture into... 394 00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:25,000 TV OFF See, it's interesting they went with the granite countertops in the end 395 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:27,520 because they're not as durable as they should be. Mm. 396 00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:29,840 That is so interesting, Dev. 397 00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:31,760 Yes, isn't it, Josie? 398 00:19:31,760 --> 00:19:33,080 WHISPERS: Good girl. 399 00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:36,320 I decided on Silestone in the end. 400 00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:38,680 It's a bit less trendy, but, um, 401 00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:41,640 as I always say, function over fashion. 402 00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:43,840 It'll look gorgeous when it's finished. 403 00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:46,360 Yes. Yes, yes, it is. 404 00:19:46,360 --> 00:19:48,760 You see, people often rush the finish, but that's actually 405 00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:50,640 where you maximise your yield. Mm. 406 00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:54,560 Um, and that reminds me, 407 00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:57,800 since you're so artistic, Deb, 408 00:19:57,800 --> 00:20:02,480 perhaps you'd like to help me pick out the tiles for the backsplash? 409 00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:06,520 Love to! THEY CHUCKLE QUIETLY 410 00:20:11,320 --> 00:20:13,680 Right, well, I'm going to have a fag 411 00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:17,520 and...then maybe...an early night, 412 00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:19,000 sexy bum. 413 00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:28,520 WHISPERS: It's happening, Josie! 414 00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:32,640 DOOR SLAMS 415 00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:32,640 BILLIE: You fucking bitch! 416 00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:34,800 You said you NEEDED the hat, so the hair cooks. 417 00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:36,040 Why didn't you tell me 418 00:20:36,040 --> 00:20:38,120 I had Asda on the back of my head?! 419 00:20:38,120 --> 00:20:39,920 Um...I'm afraid of confrontation? 420 00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:41,560 Well, you're going to get one now. 421 00:20:41,560 --> 00:20:43,400 I'm going to fucking kill you! 422 00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:45,200 GRUNTING 423 00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:45,200 Stop it! 424 00:20:47,640 --> 00:20:49,280 Stop it! 425 00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:50,680 Agh! 426 00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:52,960 Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! 427 00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:54,240 Ugh! Ugh! 428 00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:56,240 I think I'm having a panic attack. 429 00:20:58,040 --> 00:20:59,480 Not the ketchup! 430 00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:02,640 Not my dress! Oh, you look like a fucking milkmaid! 431 00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:04,080 It costs more than my wine! 432 00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:06,120 Stop being pig women! 433 00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:12,320 Do you see what you've done, Josie? 434 00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:14,200 Right, that's it. 435 00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:16,440 I'm really going to do it this time. It's happening. 436 00:21:16,440 --> 00:21:18,240 I'm going to fucking do it. 437 00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:19,680 All OK? 438 00:21:22,760 --> 00:21:24,720 Yes. Erm... 439 00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:27,880 Billie just wants to go to Wagamama. 440 00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:41,400 Hello. I'd just like to return this, please. Yeah, of course. 441 00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:43,440 Anything wrong with that? No, nothing. 442 00:21:43,440 --> 00:21:45,000 Just didn't suit her. 443 00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:46,560 Not feminine enough. 444 00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:48,840 Oh. 445 00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:51,640 Er... 446 00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:53,280 Yeah, 447 00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:55,200 I don't think we can accept this. 448 00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:57,600 Girls, can you just wait outside, please? 449 00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:02,400 Sorry. 450 00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:02,400 DEB CRIES 451 00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:06,760 It's just that my husband's left us, with quite a lot of debt 452 00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:10,200 and, um, we're just trying to be really brave about it. 453 00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:14,480 Just... 454 00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:17,720 DEB SOBS 455 00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:17,720 I'm sorry. 456 00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:24,360 I'm sorry your hair didn't win Nicky back. 457 00:22:24,360 --> 00:22:25,440 He was bad news anyway. 458 00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:27,240 No, he was perfect. 459 00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:28,720 Exactly my type. 460 00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:31,080 Drug dealer who looked like he wanted to hurt me. 461 00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:32,520 Daddy? 462 00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:34,080 Daddy. 463 00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:37,040 He did have great chat, though, didn't he? Great chat. 464 00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:39,040 That doesn't mean he's allowed to be a dick. 465 00:22:39,040 --> 00:22:40,320 Yeah. 466 00:22:40,320 --> 00:22:41,680 Can I tell you a secret? 467 00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:42,760 Yeah. 468 00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:44,640 Literally never wore a condom once. 469 00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:46,320 That's classic Nicky. 470 00:22:46,320 --> 00:22:48,480 Not once? Didn't like them. 471 00:22:48,480 --> 00:22:51,560 He said they'd end up in the ocean and dolphins can choke on them. 472 00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:54,720 Billie, that's really bad. What if you're like...? No, there's no chance. 473 00:22:54,720 --> 00:22:57,040 Because your body has to be, like, totally ready to be pregnant. 474 00:22:57,040 --> 00:22:59,240 Mine's just not ready. Honestly, I've been so stressed, 475 00:22:59,240 --> 00:23:01,920 I haven't had a period for, like, two months, so don't worry, OK? 476 00:23:01,920 --> 00:23:04,280 Everything's going to be fine. 477 00:23:04,280 --> 00:23:06,480 I'm just going to check the sale before they close. 478 00:23:06,530 --> 00:23:11,080 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0